Something Sweeter Than Sugar
by Lulio
Summary: How long can this continue? Neither one can exist without the other, but when their existence together is bound by a purpose to defeat the other what is there to do?
1. Shock

I am rewriting this story. I wrote it a year ago, and have been too busy (lazy) to fix it. But I am now! ^_^

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_Some Things Are Sweeter Than Sugar._

--Light's POV--

I am confident, confident in my strengths, my intelligence, my cause...

Confident in my abilities. There's no way he could get to me.

There's just no way...

But, I must admit... My resolve has slowly begun chipping away, as if all my goals were tucked away in a sand castle and the tide was coming in. I can feel it, or rather, _him._ Its as if every nerve in my body is tuned to him, aware of his every action. It would be altogether different if this man, this man whom I am now dangerously close to admitting I am addicted to, had chosen not to block my path, had chosen not to be the only thing standing in my way from victory. And I fear I am starting to crack...

--Ryuzaki's POV--

People consider me to be special. I guess in a way I am. But the truth of the matter is:

I'm lonely.

I work alone, always have. False names, hiding behind my glowing computer screen, sleepless nights, all these are things I'd grown used to. But I'm beginning to suspect that the only thing keeping me from realizing my lonely existence for exactly what it is, is the fact that I'd never experienced anything different. But now, now that I've had a taste of something sweeter than sugar... I find myself wanting more.

--Normal POV--

"Ryuzaki, is everything alright?"

Startled, deep in thought, Ryuzaki looked up from the screens surrounding him, tucked in his usual position, legs safely drawn close to his chest. "Mm, yes, just thinking." Tilting his head lazily towards Light. Light stared at him, searching his face for any incite as to what he could possibly be thinking about.

"Matsuda, any progress yet?" Ryuzaki looked up only slightly, awaiting a response.

"No, nothing new has happened, nothing but same old murders."

"Hmm, right, keep at it then.." His chair swiveled to face the screes again.

Light abruptly stood up, chain around his wrist jangling slightly.

"Going somewhere Light?" Ryuzaki began to stand up.

"Bathroom" was his quick reply. As he swept from the room, Ryuzaki padding after him, the other members of the task force watch as they exited the room.

"Ya know, sometimes I feel a bit bad for Light, chained to L like that." Matsuda said to break the silence.

--Light's POV--

_I can't stand it, if it wasn't enough working with him, I can't bear being linked to him like this! Under these conditions its only a matter of time before he- _

"Light, I was just wondering..." His voice rang clear to free my head from thought.

"Yes? What is it?" I turned to face him in the hallway, trying hard to concentrate on what he was saying.

"You seem to be acting odd these pas few days, are you sick?" Ryuzaki took a step forward and gently placed his palm on my forehead.

"N-no I'm fine." I said to quickly, brushing his hand away as nonchalantly as I could. _How long will this go on? How long will I be forced to pretend...? _

Quickly turning away from him I continued to walk.

--Later that night-- _How can he stand drinking that? _I laid in the bed, watching Ryuzaki sip tea that he had just put 10 spoonfuls of sugar in. Keeping still, pretending to have already dosed off, I watched him intently.

Soaking in his smooth skin, memorizing the curves of his face, tracing the bridge of his nose with my eyes. _How did I let this happen? I can't possibly let this bothersome obsession prevent me from my goal! And yet, just staring at his creamy-smooth complexion, his dark eyes...his soft lips... Its almost enough to make me want to- _

"You know, you should probably try to get some sleep Light." Ryuzaki turned from his work to look at me. "Is the light bothering you?"

I stared, wide-eyed "Uh, no, no I was just, um, well I _was_ asleep, I just had a strange dream is all..." _Damn it! How long did he know I was watching him?_

"Well, if you're still awake, would you like a snack?" Gesturing toward his tray of creme-filled donuts on the desk next to him.

"Uh, sure." I stood up, walking over to his desk I had to reach over his shoulder to grab one of his snacks from the tray. He picked one up and devoured nearly half of it in one bite, creme oozing out of the sides on his lips.

_Oh God what I wouldn't give to just reach over and-_

"Mm, these are one of my favorites, do you like them?" He asked.

I started to nibble at the edges, barely tasting the food. "Yes, its very sweet, definitely your style Ryuzaki." I said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Light, can I ask you a personal question?" He looked directly at me, his piercing eyes scanning my face.

"What is it Ryuzaki?" Curious, I risked leaning just a bit closer...

"Kira... He is evil right? I mean, you do agree don't you?" I was a little surprised, it seemed like he was going to ask something more personal than that...

"Of course I do. Why do you think I joined the task force?"

"Yes, I thought you would say something like that, but what I'm really wondering is, how wrong is it really to love Kira? What if...what if he wasn't like we all think, what if he was young, innocent... Is it wrong to _love_ Kira?"

_That _question caught me off guard. "What are you getting at Ryuzaki?" _What game is he playing at?_

"Sometimes I feel like there are certain things that me and Kira have in common, and I wonder what that makes me in the eyes of justice..." I didn't know what to say to that, not sure if he was serious or not but...

"How would you know what you have in common with Kira? You can't just think you're a bad person comparing yourself to someone you don't even know." He just stared at me with those eyes... _What is this? Is he trying to unravel my resolve? At this rate...I don't think I could stop myself from giving in to these feelings..._

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, there was nothing I could do, it was if I had left my body and was watching in horrific slow-motion as I brought my hand to his face. "Ryuzaki..." I whispered before I gently (_and oh so gently I was!) _leaned over and closed the distance between us.

--Ryuzaki's POV--

Maybe it was all the sleepless nights... Too long running on nothing but sugar and sheer will-power... But regardless of what it was, the fact remains;

I slipped up.

For some reason, looking at his face...while he thinks he's convinced me he's asleep, it seems to make it harder to think. Like there's a fog, blocking me from easily hearing my better judgment... But even then I had calculated every possible reaction, except one...

Of course, I was nowhere near prepared for that reaction. And at that moment, I didn't care. Because for whatever reason he kissed me, it didn't seem to matter anymore, nothing did. Rationality slipped away from me, all I could see, hear, feel, _taste_, was Light. It was if I couldn't get close enough...

_And yet...Light Yagami...is he Kira?_

Yes.

_I know this to be true. I know it. But... Does that change anything?_

No.

_This is also true. And after tonight I can say without a single doubt in my mind that I love Light._

Light Yagami,

Kira,

hate,

_love_.

--Light's POV--

_How could I be so reckless?_ Screaming at myself for what I had done, the two sides of me battling for control. But if this keeps up, this inner war with myself threatens to destroy me. _I can't let this happen, I can't let him win. _But I know that a part of me (and I am not yet ready to accept how big that part of me is) would be more than happy to surrender to him completely.

--Normal POV--

Few words were spoken that morning.

Matsuda, uncomfortable with the eerie silence, finally said "So Light, how's Misa been lately? Is she upset by how little she gets to see you?"

This question made Light realize how little he'd been thinking about Misa of late. "Mm, probably," he began "but we're not in a position yet to let up on the Kira case." he nodded slightly to show his seriousness.

"That is a very good point Light." Ryuzaki said, suddenly appearing behind him. Light, unaware of how close Ryuzaki had been, jumped in spite of himself. "Oh, sorry, did I startle you?"

"Just a little." Light said, turning to face him.

"Ahh," Matsuda sighed, "Now to grab some coffee and and get back to work..."

--Light's POV--

After staring at that screen for what seemed like hours, I couldn't take anymore. _I have to do something. _I stood, knowing he would have to follow.

"What is it Light?" I heard him ask.

Without bothering to face him I said "I need to go get something." I heard his chair swivel as he turned to get up, and as we started walking I could hear his bare feet padding on the carpet in the hallway.

_I think we're far enough now... _I stopped walking.

"What is it Light?" I finally turned to face him... big mistake. having been avoiding his face since last night he looked so irresistible that I almost forgot what I came here to do... but not quite.

"Ryuzaki..." I said to him, stepping closer. "What is your game? Why did you just sit there and let me kiss you last night?" I questioned, advancing towards him until his back was almost pressed against the wall. _It makes him look so small...fragile..._

"I suppose... you caught me off guard." He stated.

I put my face so close to his that our noses were nearly touching.

"How about now L?" I said with a hint of sarcasm, and all I could smell was his sugary-sweet scent, "do you know what I'm going to do now?" and for the second time in the last eight hours I kissed him. Planting my hands on the wall above his shoulders I pinned him there, and this time I wasn't so gentle. But neither was he.

He grabbed at my waist, pulling me closer, while I nibbled on his lower lip, and finally explored the inside of his mouth. He was sweeter than sugar. All the while I was screaming at myself _I can't do this! This is insane! _But... _No, I don't care. It doesn't matter, nothing matters now. _So then I slid my hands up his baggy shirt, feeling his skin all over. I think he moaned, but it was cut off by my reentry into his mouth.

"What's taking you guys so long?" Aizowa yelled up.

I heard footsteps approaching and we immediately separated. But the look I gave me sent shivers down his spine as I mouthed the word "later".

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Reviews are loved! ^_^


	2. Denial

_Something Sweeter Than Sugar._

Chapter two; Denial.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! 'Cept my laptop, this baby's MINE. =D

--Light's POV--

Later that night I laid in bed, for once truly restless. All the thoughts rushing through my head kept me turning over until Ryuzaki was looking at me with concern.

"Something wrong?"

He must have asked at least thirty times, to which of course I responded every time "Of course not, I'm fine." reassuring him until he would finally turn from me and resume typing.

But the problem, the thought that was keeping me from sleep, was _when will later come? _I couldn't help but anticipate, no, _yearn _for more of what I had tasted earlier today, and this yearning was driving me crazy. I wasn't _supposed to_ feel this way, as far as Kira is concerned L is the enemy! All these mixed emotions do nothing for me but leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and yet...

But to think that a man such as he could throw off my resolve, shake my confidence in my own cause... _This must be part of his plan... Yes, trick me into getting close to him, making me trust him enough to let something slip, something I wouldn't want him to know... I'm sure of it! _I sat upright with this new thought in mind, straining my eyes in the dark of the room, when I realized Ryuzaki was gone.

--Ryuzaki's POV--

To be honest, the way all this has turned out is nothing like what I expected from Kira.

_Kira..._

_How can I even bear to be forced to prove Light Yagami is nothing more than a deranged serial killer?_

_Light Yagami..._

I put my thumb securely against my bottom lip, pushing back the wave of melancholy I had felt upon thinking his name. _But is this really what I've come to? _

I had never before considered my lifestyle to be "lonely" but that's probably what it is. _I'm sure what I feel for Light Yagami is nothing more than a fleeting attempt at companionship. Yes, that's got to be it. Its not possible for me to love Kira. No, it must be something else, too much cake perhaps... _Just the faintest hint of a smile twitched at the corners of my lips, and I finally felt I had some peace of mind, no matter how true or untrue it really was.

--The next day--

Unfortunately, peace of mind is extremely elusive.

The next morning, feeling somewhat refreshed from the generous three hours of sleep I had given myself, I was quiet prepared for a long day of work. At least I was until I turned my head.

As soon as I turned my head I knew all thoughts of work were lost. Because there he was, sleeping soundly next to me, breathing softly, so calm, innocent.

_What happened to 'just a fleeting attempt at companionship'? _I scoffed at my own speculation (which is something I rarely ever do) realizing now, as I lay there gazing at him, that it was nothing but petty excuses, amounting little to nothing. I sighed as I started to turn away, but stopped when I realized his eyes were open.

--Light's POV--

"R-Ryuzaki? What are you doing?" I woke up to find Ryuzaki's face inches from my own. _Now I'm certain that he's only trying to get inside my head, there's no other explanation, _I thought, still staring at his face.

_His perfect face. _I said to myself without really thinking about it. I jumped out of bed, shock from calling him perfect had me up and dressed in moments.

As I was putting on my shoes I heard him call out "Sorry if I startled you, Light."

"Its fine," I replied swiftly.

As I waited for him to reattach the chain that would link us together all day to my wrist I attempted idle conversation. "So, how did you uh, sleep last night?" I asked him, looking at him directly for the first time in a long time.

"Hm, I believe I got .35 hours more than average so it has been worse." Typical response, he doesn't seem any different than normal...

He got out of bed and approached me, cuffing his wrist on the way. But as he reached for mine, he held fast to it, pulling me slightly closer. "Light, you have been acting _very strangely_ of late, and it has me confused...care to explain your behavior?"

"_My_ behavior?" I countered, I had no intention of letting him pin it all on me. "You're the one staring at me when I sleep!"

With that he took a step closer, bringing his face up to eye level with me, "Fine then, to prove my point..." he said to me before grabbing my face in his hands and brushing his lips against mine. As a subconscious reaction I raised my arms as if to grab him in an embrace before getting a better grip on myself.

But the sharp-eyed Ryuzaki saw what I had about to do, and just like that he backed away saying "I see..." more to himself then me. A few moments of standing there passed while he was deep in thought. Finally, he looked up at me and said "Light Yagami, I love you."

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Ha ha, thats it for chapter two! Sorry it's a bit shorter than the last one but I was up till like, 4 in the morning writing it so go easy on me 'kay? I really like writing these stories and will probably keep at it unless I get a whole bunch of messages telling me I suck... But constructive criticism makes me happy so give me a comment please!

Oh, and by the way, I wasn't sure whether or not Raito and L slept chained together or not, (I don't remember it saying anything about it...) so I just decided that they tale the thing off at night, which is how L can roam the hallways being all melancholy and stuff just to be clear!!


	3. Anger

Well, here we are again! I'm really some people actually like my writing. So thank you!!

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_Something Sweeter Than Sugar_

_Chapter 3- Anger_

--Light's POV--

"Light Yagami, I love you."

_He...what?_

My head reeled as my brain registered what he had said. Of course, my initial feeling was suspicion. But shockingly enough, under that layer of distrust was a thin trace of hope.

_What if its a trap, part of his ploy to prove I'm Kira?_

_But what if he says is true? What if..._

I stiffened, looking at him I decided to play it safe. Test the waters, so to speak. "Ryuzaki you can't be serious! You mean to tell me that... All along?" I felt a blush creep up the sides of my neck as I realized these words were so convincing because they were tinted with real longing.

Stepping closer to him I said gently "Ryuzaki, I care for you...maybe more than I had expected to." I felt real tremors in my hands as I reached for his wrist. _Calm down, its only an act. _I tried to tell myself, but it was obvious that at least part of me wished this was real.

I grabbed his arm, gently pulling him closer, until his sweet scent once again filled my head, tuning my thoughts into a swirling cloud. Drawing him tight to my body I locked eyes with him, "So you're fine with this then?" I asked. His answer was looking up at me and wrapping his free arm around my neck. Without waiting for further invitation I put my hand to his face and kissed him.

--Ryuzaki's POV--

I never imagined my self restraint so feeble as to be unraveled by something so irrationally emotional as love. And yet, here I am, back pressed against the wall, arm wrapped tight to his neck.

I needed more, and made that need known by licking his bottom lip, demanding entrance into his mouth. Feeling him pull me closer only made it harder to break for air, but it had to be done. I looked up at the clock on the wall- 11:17, we had to get going... I looked back to him "Light, we should go meet the others now." I said, but stopped him from turning from me with a final kiss, gently running my hand through his well-kept hair. Then, blocking all emotions from my face, something I had developed a talent for, I headed out the door, pulling Light along from behind me.

--In the Surveillance Room--

Of course everyone else was already there, we were at least an hour late. But even with the slight dilatory arrival things seemed a bit off in the working atmosphere... It was something I couldn't quite put my finger on but they all seemed to be staring in a way that could only be described as mute horror. But then I turned my head to the dozen or so screens on the wall and I realized... _The surveillance cameras... The one in our room is on, it was always on..._

I turned to them, knowing they knew, and said cheerfully "Good morning everyone, how was your night?"

--Light's POV--

_Th-there's a camera in our room too? H-how long has it been on??_ Staring wide-eyed at the screen monitoring our room I finally realized why everyone in the task force was just watching us stand there, and the realization felt like a ton of bricks landing on my shoulders. The room tilted a bit as I comprehended what this meant.

_They...saw us together!! _

"Light... Y-you're not really... What am I going to tell your mother?"

_Father... _Recognizing his voice before looking up to see Souichiro Yagami stepping forward, head bowed in shame.

"Chief, don't be so hard on Light, its not that hard to understand... L is pretty cute..." I chuckled a bit as I heard Matsuda feebly come to my defense.

"Shut up Matsuda" I heard him retort coldly, "I won't stand for it, Light! Not with _that_ man!!"

Suddenly enraged, he made a move as if to punch L. I stepped closer, grabbing a hold of his shoulder, "Dad, calm down... Its just, its not what it looks like okay?" I said, trying to calm him.

"Quite the contrary Mr. Yagami" I heard Ryuzaki report from behind me, "in fact it is exactly what it looks like." he said, slipping his hand around my waist. My cheeks burned with what I knew to be an evident blush that I couldn't force back.

"You guys are disgusting." Aizawa said, feeling it necessary to voice his opinion as well. Of course, things only got worse as I saw Misa running toward me, her shoes clacking on the wooden floor.

"Light-kun! Tell me it isn't true!!" She wailed in my ear, sobbing into my shoulder. "You can't be _gay! _You're supposed to love ME!! _I'M _your girlfriend so tell me what Matsu said isn't true this instant!" She demanded, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"Sorry Light, I thought she should know..." I vaguely heard Matsuda mumble.

This was all just too much to take this early in the morning, so I stormed through them out the front door,dragging Ryuzaki with me.

--Ryuzaki's POV--

I suppressed a chuckle as I watched with amusement at what could be considered nothing more than a fuss they were all creating. Although it would seem Light didn't find it nearly as entertaining as I was soon dragged from the building.

I raised an eyebrow as Light paced back and forth in front of me, stopping occasionally to pound his fist into a nearby wall in frustration. I personally didn't see the problem so sounded a bit confused when I asked "Something wrong, Light?"

His irritation with this situation as probably something worth noting but his face had distracted me for the moment.

It was far more contorted than I had prepared for. I saw him occasionally twitch in agitation and it was almost puzzling how he was wringing his hands and pacing up and down the sidewalk.

It was nearly unnerving to watch someone usually so collected act so unhinged at something such as this. "Light" I repeated, "what's wrong?"

This time he took a jagged breath, straightening himself, trying to appear more composed. "Its not...It was just a bit much so early in the morning." he finally responded, looking almost normal again.

"Can we uh...go somewhere?" he asked, leaning against the wall. A small voice in my head informed me that right now our responsibilities lied with continuing the investigation, although, something about how the sun seemed to light his face, that small voice seemed nearly inexistent compared to the thought of taking a day off with Light.

So after only a moment of thought I nodded, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket to call Watari. "Yes, pick us up...yes, hmm, their room service will suffice... Yes. Understood." I hung up my cell phone and turned to Light. "Watari will be picking us up shortly and taking us to a hotel. I've noted in the past that they serve very good cake..." I smiled.

"A hotel? That wasn't quite what I had in mind..." he was beginning to say when a sleek car rolled up next to the sidewalk.

"Ah, he makes good time don't you think?" I chuckled as we both got in and sped down the street.

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Ahh, chapter three done already? Hmm, I'd like to ovoid any OOC moments... but sometimes I think I slip up a bit so let me know what you think okay?

Comments make me happy.


	4. Bargaining

I feel like it took me forever to write this one! I was suffering from serious writers block and then my computer crapped out on me for about 5 days (I was suffering from serious internet withdrawals) so sorry if I disappeared from the face of the earth for a bit. Anyway, here we go!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (yet). Heh heh.

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_Something Sweeter Than Sugar._

_Bargaining._

--Light's POV--

I counted the streetlights as we turned a corner onto the main road.

_One, two, three..._

Trying hard to preoccupy myself with something, anything other than the rushing thoughts in my mind.

I glanced over at Ryuzaki, his posture was his typical, slouched-over position, thumb to his mouth, his eyes gazing straight ahead, no doubt deep in thought.

I turned back to the window, watching the trees melt into a blur as we sped by.

_Somehow... Things have become... Complicated. Way more than I thought they would._

_What was my plan in doing all this?_

Truthfully I couldn't answer that question, I couldn't remember.

_Kira... Can't fall in love with his enemy._

I swore I'd take his life, swore I'd come out on top.

_Do I even feel a desire to kill him anymore?_

My fist clenched slightly, how could I even be questioning myself like that?

_No... I can't doubt myself now, this may be my only chance to crack L's defenses..._

_But..._

No. Shoving that small protest to the very back of my mind I looked up to see we were just arriving at the hotel. Watari pulled to a stop at the main entrance. Ryuzaki opened the door, slipping out easily. I followed close behind, overhearing Ryuzaki tell Watari that he'd call as soon as we were ready to be picked up. He nodded in acknowledgment and drove off.

Ryuzaki motioned for me to go ahead of him so I swung the heavy glass door open and walked inside.

The hotel was ritzy, at least 4-star, golden lace wallpaper glittered from the illumination of a crystal chandelier over our heads. But he didn't even pause to look as we walked to the front desk.

"Welcome to the Iceberg Hotel, will you two be staying the night?" a professional-looking woman at the front desk inquired. Glancing down at the chain she gave us an odd look, something I was still getting used to. I looked away awkwardly.

Looking back up to Ryuzaki then to me, expecting an answer, Ryuzaki stated "we will not be staying the night, but do require a room."

"Okay, do you have a preference?" she asked him, assuming he was in charge.

"No, I believe any room will suffice." he replied.

"Hm, there's an open room, number 127 on the second floor. Will that do?" she asked, slightly tapping her manicured nails on the desk.

"Yes that's fine." he answered, smiling politely.

"Then the charge will be $93." she said. He handed her a credit card and after a moment of clicking on her computer she handed him the key. "Enjoy your stay," she smiled as we approached the stairs and I could have sworn she winked at me.

After we located the right door (which was a challenge in itself) Ryuzaki slipped the key in and entered the room.

The room itself didn't exceed one's expectations of a formal hotel. It had a comfortable feels-like-home air about it, with its pastel oil paintings hanging from the walls and light, floral wallpaper with near-matching furniture filling the interior. So the only thing genuinely surprising about the whole room was the multi-layered metal tray filled with sweets upon a nice looking oak coffee table conveniently placed in the center of the room only a foot or so away from the couch.

The tray caught Ryuzaki's eye and I was soon tugged over towards the couch.

Delicately sitting down and drawing his knees to his chest he carefully handled one of the plates that had been residing by the towering tray of desserts. Picking up a fork with his thumb and forefinger he scooped one of the delicacies onto his plate, a piece of vanilla frosted strawberry cake.

Typical. I chuckled inwardly as his eyes widened in pleasure upon finding such a treat.

Soon consuming the helpless cake he looked up at me, onyx eyes glinting, and said "I believe we need to talk."

--Ryuzaki's POV--

Observation time was over.

There was no denying the feeling that washed over me seemingly every time I gazed upon his face, but that was no excuse to just mentally dismiss the facts.

_Light is Kira._

"Talk?" he questioned, glancing up with a look of curiosity, "about what?"

Chewing on another spongy forkful of cake, I allowed the sweet frosting to dissolve in my mouth before meeting his gaze.

"Are you aware that there is now an 83.7 percent chance that you are Kira, Light Yagami?" without hesitating I scooped another delicious bite of cake into my mouth.

"8-83 percent??" he stammered

_Perhaps the number was unexpectedly high for him..._

"That is correct Light, the percentage increased by a surprising 17.5 percent as soon as you put up this strange facade of you having a romantic attachment to me," I stated, nibbling on my cake.

I studied him carefully, taking note of the flicker of hurt in his eyes that quickly turned to rage as he stood in protest, ringing metal swinging slightly at his sudden movement.

"Thats just ridiculous Ryuzaki! What do my feelings for you have to do with me being Kira?!"

"Interesting how someone as intelligent as yourself would ask a question with such a painfully obvious answer..." I spoke evenly, with only a hint of bitterness as I continued to peer up at him, still standing, still glaring at me in frustration.

"It may be obvious to you Ryuzaki, but it isn't to me so what are you saying?!"

_This... Wasn't what I had expected... Of course I anticipated anger, that has always been his key reaction when accused of being Kira, but really, more than anything else he appears to be... Hurt._

I sighed, putting the now empty plate back on the table, and stared back at him full-on.

"L is Kira's enemy as we all know, and assuming you are Kira, your true desire would be to get close enough to me for me to reveal to you my true name, enabling you to kill me."

_Quite troublesome, this... Lurching feeling does not improve my thinking ability in the least.._

_I only ever feel this way when I feel I am closer to proving that Light is Kira._

_But there's no proof..._

_Not yet. But its only a matter of time, and when the time does come..._

_No. I'd rather not think about it... Because to me, Light is..._

"Ryuzaki... It might be hard for you to believe..." Light began, I resurfaced from my thoughts and tried to focus on what he was saying.

"But I really meant it when I said I cared for you."

_Lies._

"Why can't you believe that?"

_I can't believe Kira, no matter how much I might want to._

I rose to my feet, meeting him at eye level. "You're right," I said, noting a small flicker of relief glinted in his eyes, "it is indeed very hard to believe anything a suspected mass-murderer says." I stated flatly. Turning from him I headed for the door, "I would say we've had a long enough break. We should return to headquarters now." I called over my shoulder.

Reaching for the door I heard him close behind me, "I guess I'll just have to prove my affection," he breathed into my ear.

I paused for the briefest of moments, shivering inwardly at his closeness, but regained my composure quickly and, ignoring him completely, exited the room.

--Meanwhile, back at Headquarters--

"I wonder what L could be doing with Light..." Matsuda pondered, "they've been gone a long time." he stated, oblivious to the suddenly silent team. "Chief, what should we do now that L isn't here?" he asked, innocently placing a finger to his lip.

The room remained awkwardly silent, Mogi nervously glanced at Souichiro, then at Matsuda, while uneasily leaning back in his chair.

Aizawa appeared to be willing himself into the wall, distancing himself from the rest of the group.

Souichiro suddenly whipped his head back to glare at Matsuda "we do our jobs and continue with the investigation is what we do!" he said through gritted teeth before once again turning to face a pile of documents.

Matsuda gulped audibly.

_This isn't going to be pleasant, _thought the now uptight Mogi, _they better get back here soon..._

_--_Light's POV_--_

_Damn, if Ryuzaki truly doesn't believe I have feelings for him he'll never let me get close enough to him to obtain his real name!_

_On the other hand, if I push it, he'll only become more suspicious of my motives and assume that I'm Kira!_

I let out a sigh as we climbed back into Watari's car and pulled out onto the road. _I don't have much of a choice here, after what I said in the doorway it would only seem odd if I acted reclusive towards him now._

Stealing a sideways glance at the quirky detective I cursed inwardly. _Besides that, what's __**with **__him anyway?! First claiming that he loves me, only to later bitterly accuse me of being Kira! Is he trying to confuse me? I can't read him at all. What is his goal in doing all this?_

_What I wouldn't give to be a mind reader right now..._

Chuckling bitterly I turned my attention back to the window as we approached headquarters.

--Normal POV--

As Light got out of the car he paused momentarily, hand rested on the door, as a strange longing washed over him. It was definitely not one he was used to but it was undeniably strong, even more so as he found his eyes drifting to the raven-haired detective next to him. It was something like a longing for things to be less complicated, less confusing. And as the teen pulled open the heavy glass door to the building he thought over this newfound feeling, not quite able to dismiss it, or rather, not quite _willing._

_--_

A/N- Thanks so much for reading this so far, I tried to make up for my absence with a longer chapter so I hope it was okay!

Pleeeaaase comment it really helps me!


	5. Guilt

A/N- I am so so sorry I took me so long to write this chapter!! But I've been trying to get ready for school and its been crazy... Ahh, but this chapter was longer than some of the others (if not all of them) so... Here ya go!

Rated T for language!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bisquick, it'd be weird if I did... (Queen of the Pancakes!!)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a pad of paper and a thick eraser.

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_Something Sweeter Than Sugar._

_Guilt._

--Light's POV--

There was a near tangible feeling of tension in the air as we walked in.

_Oh God this isn't going to be fun..._

I stood in the doorway and scanned the room. My father, I knew, would be the most difficult to deal with after all that had happened this morning. In fact, Matsuda was the only one who wasn't bothered by it. I found myself chuckling inwardly at the thought of Matsuda calling L 'cute'.

_Ah, Matsuda. He really can be quite amusing..._

Unfortunately, my state of contentment was put on hold as my father stormed over to stand in front of me, blatantly straightening his shoulders and appearing, for lack of a better word, pissed.

"Light, you and I need to have a very serious talk." he said, peering over my shoulder and squinted his eyes at L suspiciously.

Before I had a chance to respond L was at my side, "I'm afraid that will have to wait for the moment Mr. Yagami," he said seriously, "it is our responsibility to return to the case, especially after the immensely pointless waste of time we all contributed to this morning." he finished with a hint of sarcasm. I almost laughed as my father's face turned from one of defiance to one of embarrassment, but kept my posture as Ryuzaki lightly placed his free hand on my shoulder, as if to silently coincide with my thoughts.

Walking more or less into the center of the room, I swallowed the remainder of my pride, "I think... There's something I need to say," I stammered. I could feel the heat from my cheeks which only caused me to blush deeper. "Me and Ryuzaki... We're um..." I couldn't say it, the thought was mortifying.

_It can't be helped, you got yourself into this, its your job to fix it._

I clenched my fists, the team stared expectantly as I opened my mouth to continue, but was cut off by a familiar voice "What Light means to say is that him and I are now in a relationship. This fact should not affect the team's productivity however and I expect us all to get back to work posthaste." he said deadpan.

My eyes widened slightly, but otherwise my shock was imperceptible.

_He... Knew what I was going to say? More importantly, he went along with it?!_

It had gotten uneasily quiet, I looked up nervously, expecting someone to say... Something.

_How long have I been working with a bunch of homophobics??_

Finally, Matsuda (figures) broke the silence, "But Light, what about Misa? What are you going to tell her?"

_Shit._

_I forgot all about Misa... I can't just get rid of her, I need her eyes..._

_But I can't just lie to her now that the task force knows about our "relationship". Damn it, what should I do?_

"I-I guess I'll just have to talk to her later." I finally responded, head still half-immersed in my thoughts.

I heard a sigh from the corner of the room that was clearly my fathers', followed by a notably less ragged one from Ryuzaki. I looked at him in surprise, I'd never heard him sigh before.

"You all are clearly unable to work today and I believe you will only slow things, so take the rest of the day off." he said to the task force, absentmindedly biting on the tip of his thumb.

"Really?" Matsuda asked eagerly, already standing.

"Just don't expect this to happen often Matsuda, it only means you'll have twice as much work tomorrow." Ryuzaki replied calmly.

"Awesome! Thanks Ryuzaki!" Matsuda exclaimed before nearly running out the door.

The other members also looked pleasantly surprised as they stood to leave, although I did get a look of suspicion from Aizawa as he made his way to the entrance.

Now the room's only occupants were me, Ryuzaki and my father. He walked over to me and gave Ryuzaki a curt nod before looking upon me and giving me a brisk hug.

"I love you son," He said sincerely before walking to the door.

"Dad," I called after him, he turned back around to face me, hand resting on the door, "thanks," I smiled at him.

_God, we're not even a real couple anyway._

He smiled back, clearly relieved that his son had excepted his subtle apology, before walking out into the sunlight.

The room was silent then, stilled by it's sudden vacancy. I was relieved that they had left, things only got more complicated with the team's presence. However... Now that everyone was gone I'm sure it won't be long before he starts asking me why I had decided to become his boyfriend without his permission.

I nervously glanced in his direction, he seemed to be paying no attention to me at all. In fact, he turned from me altogether and casually walked to his desk (dragging me behind him) to sit once again in front of his sleek laptop computer.

I sighed inwardly and approached my own computer, sitting beside him to scroll through data I had already memorized. The room was noiseless, the only exception being the harsh clicking of keys from L's computer.

Then, after a few stifling moments moments of silence, without looking up from his computer, L said inquisitively "perhaps I am not as experienced as you in this field, but it was my understanding that when someone wants a relationship with another person they first ask that person before announcing said relationship to others."

Finally turning to face me, he gave me his full attention, awaiting my answer to his unasked question.

_Damn, I knew he'd question what I did earlier. Its my own fault for not not thinking straight._

_But... After what he said at the hotel, I..._

_I wanted to prove..._

_Prove what? That I truly love him?_

I slammed the door to my thoughts shut, I needed to focus on answering him as convincingly as I could.

"I kind of figured we were in a relationship, Ryuzaki." I said defensibly.

"Hm, interesting, what about Misa Amane? I don't believe you ever formally broke up with her," he mused, "chance of you being Kira rises by .65 percent." he said deadpan, although I thought I caught a glimmer of something other than apathy in his eyes...

"Ryuzaki," I growled, "if you don't want to be in a relationship with me all you have to do is say so."

His eyes glazed over as he appeared to really think about it, then, "I suppose I do, in fact, I'm quite certain there's nothing I could want more." he stood, walking behind me to gaze over my shoulder at the computer screen, his hair brushed my cheek and I could feel my heart skip a beat.

"But you know, It'll be very interesting dating Kira..." he breathed into my neck.

_That's it._

I leaped to my feet, spinning around to punch him square in the jaw. Although dazed by the blow, he recovered soon enough to sharply kick me in the gut before toppling to the floor. The chain pulled taut and yanked me on top of him.

Seizing the opportunity I leaned closer and glared at him with all the intensity I could muster.

"I'm not K-"

His arm locked behind my neck and pulled me into a rough kiss. A wave of shocked pleasure washed over me and I kissed back. Grabbing a hold of his shirt collar I pulled him desperately closer, deepening the kiss. His hands wandered up my neck, clutching fistfuls of my hair, and I felt him shudder as my hand began to rub at his inner thigh.

As we broke apart for air I made my way down his neck, leaving a trail of fervent kisses as I reached his collarbone. He gasped sharply as I bit at the crevice of his neck.

"Light..." he moaned and wrapped his arms around my back.

_God he's so **warm.**_

I rolled off of him, positioning myself more comfortably on my side, and cradled him in my arms. He leaned in closer and cupped my cheek in his hand. I placed my own hand over his and kissed him gently. His eyes stayed open the whole time and I lost myself in their onyx sheen.

_Shit._

_How am I supposed to live without this? Without... Him?_

I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled him tighter against my body, those thoughts could wait for later.

I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from him to look up at the clock on the wall.

Nearly 7 o' clock.

"Ryuzaki, do you want something to eat?" I breathed into his shoulder.

"A piece of cheesecake would be nice." he murmured back.

I sighed as we both rose to our feet, his eyes met mine and I looked away awkwardly before he shuffled into the kitchen.

He rummaged through the fridge and pulled out a pre-sliced piece of strawberry cheesecake, pleased with his discovery he smiled as he proceeded to hunt for a fork.

"Ryuzaki, don't you think you should eat something a _little _healthier?" I frowned disapprovingly.

"_Healthy?_" he sounded shocked that I'd even mention the word, "I require no such thing, although I am grateful for your concern, Light." he spoke in a matter-of-fact way, plunging his fork into the cheesecake as if to prove his point.

I scowled.

"Well, what about pancakes? You like maple syrup right? And they're better for you than cheesecake." I reasoned, a small smile resting on my lips, "well? How 'bout it Ryuzaki?" I asked, the smile widening to one of sincere affection.

He scowled in return, clearly annoyed that his much awaited cheesecake was being put off by such an absurd topic as his health. "If you are this determined to throw off my regular sugar intake I will not stop you. But I must confess... I've no idea how to make pancakes." he spoke absentmindedly, gazing longingly at the neglected piece of cake resting on the counter a mere two feet away.

My smile widened even more, "I'll make them." I said, hastily rummaging through cupboards.

He watched in amazement as I pulled out a box of Bisquick pancakes and began methodically mixing the product with eggs and vegetable oil.

Twenty minutes later we each had a hefty stack of pancakes and proceeded to the couch to set our food on the coffee table (there was no actual table in the whole building for some reason). Grabbing the syrup, Ryuzaki began to pour a ridiculous amount of the sticky substance on his food. I watched in part fascination, part revulsion as he continued to spread the sweet syrup on his awaiting meal.

Gaging mentally, I put a modest amount on my own food before neatly cutting every piece.

"Um, Ryuzaki, I think we should talk, just to... Clear things up." I suggested, never taking my eyes off the plate.

"You are currently cheating on Misa Amane as you are now in a formal relationship with me and have, I'm only assuming, lacked the time to properly break up with her," he spoke indifferently, "Oh, and you are Kira," an afterthought.

"I'm not Kira," was my habitual reply, "but other then that you pretty much summed it up." I finished blankly.

He seemed surprised, "you're going to break up with Misa then?"

"Yes, why does that surprise you, Ryuzaki? I always thought of her as more of a friend anyway, you knew that," his brow furrowed in contemplation.

"But you will... Remain friends with her, correct?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah, if that'd be okay with her, I'd love to keep in touch."

_Thats right, with any luck I'll still be able to use those eyes of hers..._

His face lapsed back into thought "Hmm, thank you for the food, Light." he spoke neutrally. Rising to his feet without another word he left his unfinished food on the table. I sighed inwardly (something I seem to be doing a lot lately) as we headed to the computers for more work, but showed my obvious confusion as he turned his laptop off.

"I think its time we got some much deserved sleep, Light." he explained after observing my bafflement.

"That's unlike you, Ryuzaki," I said good-naturedly as we trooped upstairs.

"You need rest, you're beginning to look like me," he joked along, "and you're no help to the team if you're half asleep," smoothly opening the door he led the way to the bed. Retrieving a key from his pocket he unlocked the chain, allowing me to slip into another shirt.

I rolled into the bed and heard the hum of a computer. I glanced to the side to see Ryuzaki with his spare laptop, scrolling through a Kira support site. I rolled my eyes and turned away from the blue-ish light emanating from the screen. I'd get some sleep no matter how determined he was to work.

But an hour later I still layed there, waiting for sleep to come. And even after I heard the dull click of the computer being put to rest I layed there.

I listened to the soft, rhythmic sound of him breathing deeply. It was ironic, usually it was him who watched me sleep, but now I gazed upon him with pure admiration.

"Light..."

I froze. My eyes widened and flicked in his direction. He was still sleeping but...

"Light... Why... Why did..." he was mumbling, I strained to understand what he was saying.

"Why did it... Have to..."

I didn't breath. Stiff as a board I listened, afraid any movement would rouse him from his delicate sleep.

"Why did it... Have to be you?"

_What is that supposed to mean?_

I had no idea, but it didn't seem like this was a pleasant dream, his face contorted in, what... Tribulation?

I was empathetic, I'd had my share of nightmares of late, and it only felt right to comfort him.

Slowly, as to prevent waking him, I placed my hand on his cheek, tracing his fine cheekbone and neckline with my fingertips. His speech became incoherent, but every once in a while I'd hear him mumble my name and move closer, as if his only solace was in my arms.

We layed like that for a while before sleep finally overthrew me, but as my eyes at last shut for the night I knew;

This game has, for whatever reason, become something real.

And I was screwed.

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Alrighty, there it is! I know, the bit with Light and his father was painfully corny but I don't like it when they're fighting. :( Anyway, I'll try to update soon, but school starts in 8 days!! So that will most definitely affect my schedule...

Comments are more appreciated then air! I mean it, thank you sooo much!! -bows-


	6. Depression

A/N- Please, please, please forgive me for taking **ages **to write! I was really sick for like, a week, and then I was swarmed with homework, and then my computer broke! I swear fate was against me! My confidence in my writing skills faltered a bit during this time, I nearly decided to stop altogether, but I FINALLY finished it, and to make up for my absence its extra long. - And its my birthday! Yahh!

By the way, this is chapter is definitely A/U and there will be more OOC to come.

Disclaimer: I own nothing (yet. Heh heh...).

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_Something Sweeter Than Sugar_

Depression.

--Ryuzaki's POV-_-_

I awoke to a stream of sunlight that had managed to break through the dark curtains covering the windows of the room.

The light sharpened my senses and I became very aware of two things: I was very warm, and for some reason there was a faint smell of... Apples and cinnamon. I had never really cared for apples, they weren't nearly as sweet as my preferred strawberries. But this, the combination of the apples and the robust spice caused me to inhale deeply in satisfaction. It was only then that I realized how close in proximity my face was to Light's chest.

My eyes widened, trailing up his torso to rest on his face. The sun lit up his auburn hair in such a way that it raised my pulse rate by at least 9.25 percent.

But then my recollection of last night heightened.

I shuttered nominally at the remembrance of the dream I experienced last night, it wasn't something I was used to, I almost never dreamed, then again, I never really slept long enough to either...

I realized with vague annoyance that I was curled, more or less, into a ball, Light's arms wrapped protectively around me as if I was a small child.

_Chance that this closeness was induced by my nightmare is approximately 84 percent._

I needed sugar. Badly. The events of last night would not go unnoticed, and I needed to sort my thoughts. I squirmed awkwardly under his arms, trying to conceive a way out without waking him.

But oh did I enjoy the feeling of those arms around me... I _relished_ the warmth emanating from them. So much so in fact, that it took a surprisingly large amount of self-control to even will myself out of his comforting embrace.

Sugar. Yes, I definitely needed sugar. I wasn't thinking straight.

_When have you ever thought **straight **when it came to Light?_

It was true. Since the day I had first met Light I ad been taken aback by his acute intellect, and, perhaps because it had been so long since I had met someone who's intelligence rivaled my own, I had began to see him as a companion.

Perhaps even a friend.

_That's why..._

_That's why Light... Cannot be Kira._

I wiggled out of his arms, I was getting my stash of candy **now. **

He stirred. I froze, left leg hanging awkwardly over the bed, one toe already on the carpet. But he never awoke. As I slipped out of the bed he let out a soft snore (which twisted his face into a most comical expression) and I almost chuckled. _Almost. _I'd be in the mood to chuckle _after _I had my half a dozen donuts.

Making my way into the work room (conveniently placed to the left of the kitchen) I grabbed a box of mixed variety donuts and a packet of sugar cubes. Seeing no reason to delay work on the case I sauntered back to face the silver laptop that I had trusted for so many cases.

But now it was different. This time, I looked upon that computer and felt... Heavy. This fictitious weight on my shoulders had steadily grown since I had first met the task force. Since I had first met _Light. _Now I was not only striving to bring Kira to justice, it had become a personal battle to prove that Kira was **not **Light.

_Because to me... Light is..._

But I stopped myself there, I was unstrung, I needed to focus now more than ever.

I popped a sugar cube in my mouth, not letting it dissolve I chewed fast and swallowed.

It did bother me though, how I had began to abhor the very computer I had entrusted my life with, merely because all the leads it had ever shown pointed to Light. I felt a pang of guilt, it had been a gift from Watari a few years back and it held a token amount of sentimentality to me.

Sighing a little I reached into the box of donuts and pulled one out, strawberry frosted. I felt my spirits lift as I eyed the delicacy.

_Still though, no matter how gifted Light may be, or how badly I want to trust him, I cannot let my own feelings keep me from capturing Kira!_

_Even if it meant capturing Light? Even if it meant _executing _Light? In my current state, there's a 91.7 percent chance that I'd fall apart if Light ever were convicted as Kira. As it is there's already an alarming emotion in me that hates it any time any new evidence shows up. _

I was appalled by such a thought. When had I become so corrupt??

Fretfully, to smooth my thoughts, I began sucking on another sugar cube. By now I was scrolling through old data, staring past it with a dry indifference.

_Kira... Kira is evil, so, since I _know _Light is Kira, how can I harbor such feelings for him?_

_But Light is..._

"Ryuzaki?"

I jerked my head up, peering over my shoulder to see Light standing roughly 10 feet away with a bemused look on his face.

"Were you expecting someone else, Light?" I asked sardonically, quickly regaining my usual semblance of indifference.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he looked as irritated as he sounded, "you left me up there unchained, isn't that a bit careless of you?"

I brought another sugar cube to my mouth, "only if you are Kira," I pointed out, letting the sugar dissolve on my tongue, "should I consider that your confession statement?" I hid my bitterness in the sarcasm.

He scowled in return, "Its far too early to be arguing, Ryuzaki, after all, we are officially a couple now, right?" he finished with a smirk in his voice. My face blanked a little, I could think of nothing to say to that.

He made a face of confusion as his eyes drifted down to his watch, "Where is everyone anyway? They're late."

I raised an eyebrow quizzically, "Today is, to my knowledge, Sunday. Since the task force, including your father, rarely come in on Sundays I would not be expecting them if I were you." I spoke as if he were a small child, speaking slowly, pronouncing each syllable with deliberate precision. It had occurred to me that I had been acting more caustic than normal but even just a look at his face took me back to that dream...

if I had been alone I would have shuttered at the memory, but years of self-restraint subdued the impulse to nothing more than a shiver down my spine.

But my lapse into thought went unnoticed as Light took a seat at the computer next to me.

"Oh, guess I forgot." he said in an easygoing tone. It seemed like the more irritable I got, the more jaunty he became. It annoyed me that he could be in such a pleasant mood when I was trapped in my inner turmoil. What gave him the right to be happy?

_What gives _me _the right to be in love with a murderer?_

I squeezed my eyes shut, it was the dream, the most vivid one I'd had in years, that was causing this. Light, surrounded by his victims, his hands drenched in their blood, a monster. I ran to him and crimson stained my skin as his hand brushed my cheek. And when I looked in his eyes there was nothing but a burning red gleam. Malice glistened in his face but... I saw my face distort into a twisted grin and the red enveloped my own eyes as I leaned closer and-

"Ryuzaki? Hey, what's wrong?"

My eyes shot open. They flicked back to where Light was sitting and took in his suddenly concerned features.

_There's no time to sort through this now..._

"Will you be visiting Misa today, Light? I've taken note that she has a photo shoot today at noon in the park. It would be the opportune time for you to speak with her." I hastily diverted the subject from my previous state of tension.

"Ah, that's a good plan, it 10 o' clock now so why don't we go get dressed so we can have some time on our hands before heading over?" he asked with a grin, excessively happy about my slightly more responsive mood.

"That is fine Light, but I must remain chained with you, even in public." I stated flatly.

His face tinted the slightest pink, "In p-public? Is that really necessary?" he cringed with embarrassment.

"Exceedingly so," I replied in the same monotone voice.

Without giving him the chance to protest further I stood, the chair squeaked as it was relieved of my weight, and grasped his hand firmly. Leading him back up the stairs to our room I noted that Light's hand was very warm. Very warm, and very soft. And that his fingers were long and precise, like a pianist. But soon we reached the top of the stairs and, after opening the door, I promptly let go of him. Shaking away the longing of his grasp, I swiftly moved towards the desk that the handcuffs rested upon. I would wait for Light to get dressed then reattach the chain. He had been right, it _was _unusually careless of me to leave him unwatched the way I did.

Light had, by that time, already made his way to where his clothes were kept. He pulled out a warm sweater (as the days were getting colder) and had began pulling it over his shoulders before he hesitated, half-dressed as he was, and turned around to face me.

"Ryuzaki, there's time for me to take a shower right?" he asked.

I didn't bother look at the clock, we had hours, "Yes, Light." I said a little reluctantly, I didn't like the idea of him being unchained for such an extended amount of time. And my wrist always always felt awkwardly bare without it.

"Make it brief, Light," I added as an afterthought.

He nodded in acknowledgment and discarded his shirt on the bed. I followed him to the bathroom and perched myself on the toilet. My toes curled against the edge of the seat in distaste of the cold. But this was all routine, I pretend to ignore his impeccable body when he gets in, try not to stare longingly at the curtain while he bathes, and respectfully hand him a towel when he is finished. So it was a quick process, all awkwardness had worn off a while ago.

Of course, now that the tone around us had shifted so drastically one would presume that it would have become even less awkward.

Needless to say, said theory couldn't have been any more fictitious.

Light hovered by the curtain, almost as if inviting me to join him. I tried to look disinterested, all the while relying on my years of celibacy to will away my growing desire for him. With a small smile he immersed himself in the hot water, pulling the curtain back behind him. The sound of the cascading water was numbing, and the warmth from the rising steam helped calm my thoughts. I was thankful for that since they had been so jumbled lately.

I was irrevocably in love with Light.

The man I knew in my heart to be Kira.

I came to realize some time ago that I had been subconsciously dreading that day where some previously unknown evidence shows up. The day where I'd have to announce to everyone that Kira was truly Light Yagami. I'd be forced to display the masquerade of apathy while he was taken away, most likely to his death, where I'd never see him again. That day loomed in my mind, like the most dreadful of storms visible over the horizon.

_How could I be so selfish as to want him all to myself? Light deserves to be put in jail, to be _executed.

Said man began to hum a joyful tune in the shower. His voice cut through the water as he imitated Frank Sinatra's deep voice,"Fly me to the moon and let me _saaa_il among the stars,"

I smiled, surprised he knew the old American song. My smile quickly becoming a laugh as he gargled the rest,

"Let me see what spring is like on _Juuu_piter and Mars."

Resigning himself to humming the rest he turned the water off and began groping for a towel, which I courteously threw to him. It landed on the shower curtain and he pulled it off quickly. Yanking back the curtain he was swift with wrapping the dark green towel around his waist, a talent I was thankful for- as if I needed any more distractions.

"I will call Watari, shall I have him pick us up in approximately 30 minutes?" I inquired calmly, careful not to look at his dripping form.

"Sure, okay." he replied, making his way back to the bedroom to grab his clothes. Giving him a moment of privacy I turned my back to him and pulled my cell phone from my pocket. I was brief with Watari, speaking quickly in English as it made me uncomfortable talking with him when Light was within hearing distance.

Clicking the phone shut I silently made my way back to him. I took a moment to admire his choice of clothes, a form-fitting black sweater with a pair of dusty-tan jeans, before reuniting cold metal with his wrist and, with a dull click, fastening it to him.

"Lets go, Light."

--Light's POV--

the cold from the metal had become foreign to my wrist and I shivered unintentionally. But it felt good, when I had woken alone I panicked just a little.

I blinked when I was being pulled towards the door, I really had to stop spacing out like that...

"Ryuzaki, we're not leaving for another half-hour, whats the rush?" I questioned, now by the stairs.

"To sit around and do nothing for 30 minutes is immensely unproductive Light." he said sardonically, "I intend to do a bit of work before Watari arrives," he finished.

I brushed off his icy mood and headed down the stairs. His computer was already on so he began typing as soon as he sat down. Turning my own computer on I tried not to notice how furiously he was typing.

_Maybe... It has something to do with last night. It was clearly a nightmare, but could a bad dream really affect him like this?_

"**Still chained to that weird detective eh, Light?"**

It was a good thing L was so absorbed in his work, he never even noticed me stiffen, or look up as my eyes flicked to the air.

I twitched.

_R-ryuk?!_

"**Sorry I was gone so long, ya miss me?"** the humorous shinigami said, yawning as he stretched his dark wings, "**can't say I missed hanging around here a whole lot, but I could seriously use an apple right about now." **he finished with a twitch in his voice.

I looked back up to my computer, any sign that anything out of the ordinary had just occurred were replaced with cool composure as I began searching for Kira websites.

_Ryuk... I hadn't even noticed his absence! How long had he been gone for? It must have been at least a week! How the hell could I be so unobservant?!_

"**Heh heh heh, I bet you're wondering where I've been, huh? Well, I don't have to hang around here all the time ya know, so I decided to take a look around the human world, its been a long time since I've been here you know." **he stated poutily.

_Damn that shinigami, showing up at a time like this..._

As if on cue, Watari's car could be heard pulling up to the front door. L's dexterous hands hovered over the keyboard for a split second before quickly shutting his laptop and standing in his slumped position to his feet.

I rose with him, fighting back the growing dread for what was to come. Misa could be scary when she was mad... I needed to put it as lightly as I could, avoiding just coming out and saying "I'm _gay." _Not that it would bother me all too much, but it _would _infuriate Misa, Rem would probably kill me too. No, I needed to come up with a different approach, stressing my desire for a friendship between us. Could I pull it off? Yes. Would it be easy? Hell no.

And then there was L, what he was planning on doing on this trip was beyond me.

"**Where are you going Light?" **Ryuk floated behind me as I headed for the door with L, "**tell me we're going to get some apples." **he said hungrily.

_I only wish that was what I was planning on doing..._

"Light, do you have anything specific in mind that you were planning to say to Misa?" L asked deadpan. After sitting in silence for so long it was a relief to hear him speak to me again.

"Ah, no, not really. I would still like us to be friends though, thats how I always saw the relationship anyway." I replied a little nervously.

Ryuk cackled in the background, "**Ohh, THAT'S what you're doing. You're breaking up with Misa, eh? Ku ku ku, this'll be good."**

Ignoring the obnoxious shinigami I opened the door, holding it politely for L, before letting it shut behind me. Ryuk floated through it without a second thought.

_Looks like he's gonna hang around for this whole event. I'm beginning to wish he'd take another long trip..._

As we stepped once again into Watari's sleek black car I tried to calm my nerves by counting backwards from 100. it wasn't Misa I was worried about so much as Rem, her shinigami would do just about anything for Misa, and that was treacherous.

L closed the door behind him and perched himself him his typical posture. The ambivalence I felt for him flamed as the car was brought back into motion and I tried not to make it obvious that I was staring. He didn't take notice though, as he was staring absentmindedly out the window, again I wondered if his aloof behavior had something to do with the dream he had last night. But it was only a light pondering to keep my mind away from the confrontation that was bound to take place in a matter of minutes.

I sighed internally as the car sped towards the main road. I turned to glance back at L, only to be surprised that he had been looking at me as well. His eyes were lit with a certain softness that caught me off guard. He even went so far as to smile, it was a slight smile, undetectable to most, but I knew him well enough to see it. My heart sped up as I smiled back.

_Damn that Ryuzaki, what does he have to be so... Cute?_

I sighed again and turned my attention back to the seat in front of me. If anything, it would be a long ride home.

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Thank you all so much for waiting for this chapter!! I know you must hate me by now (I would hate me too, believe me) But I've started chapter 7 and I think I will definitely be updating faster. In the meantime, REVIEW! OMG, the reviews are what keep me going, I swear. -bows- Thanks all! P.s- did I mention its mah b-day? Hellz yea!! This is the best present I could ask for, FINALLY finishing chapter 6! XD Okay, I'm done now. -Bows (again)-


	7. Acceptance

A/N: Hey, whew, finally, the **last** chapter. I'm just happy a few people actually liked it. Thanks for sticking with it, I feel like I got a lot better as a writer... So I guess that means I'll be back! Sorry this chapter took so long...

Btw- I tried to quote a bit from episode 25, but I don't own it, and I can't go on youtube (computer is crap.) and I couldn't find it in the manga, so its a bit... Off. .

Anyway, here ya go.

Disclaimer: I am in no way related to or in any other way affiliated with the creators of Death Note.

--

_Something Sweeter Than Sugar_

Acceptance.

--Light's POV--

The silence on the ride home was much welcomed. The yelling I had endured while dealing with Misa had left me with ringing ears.

"_What do you mean 'we should just be friends'?! Don't you need me anymore, Light??"  
"Of course I do, thats why I want us to remain friends, Misa-"_

"_But Liiiiight! You can't be breaking up with me, I_ love _you!!"_

It had continued on like that for a good twenty minutes before Misa's manager had hauled her back to work. L had remained silent the whole time, but he was better than Ryuk, who couldn't seem to stop snickering without a sharp glare from Rem.

Actually, Misa's fit was quite anticipatory, not unlike her at all. But on the drive home it sank in just how much her words pointed out how far I had strayed from my plan. I had most likely lost Misa's eyes, clearly angered Rem, and had the whole task force convinced I was a flaming gay, and for what? So I could "date" _L??_

_You can't just stop being Kira._

I clenched my teeth. I would **not **lose everything for him. If my desire to use the Death Note was as fleeting as to waver for some _irrational affection _then what right did I have to be the God of MY New World?

_He said he loved me..._

It was clearly a lie, so why had it made me feel so happy?

It was at times like this where being chained to L was at its most burdensome. Times when a multitude of thoughts buzzed inside my head and all I want to do is scream in frustration. But I had to remain perfectly calm and collected since I knew he kept a constant vigil on me.

I turned my attention to said man, moving my eyes over his raven hair to rest on his face. His eyes were cold, face stoic. I knew him well enough to tell he was thinking deeply, most likely about something unpleasant. I sighed internally, his foul mood was growing irksome and was hindering my own. I looked away, annoyed.

We rode in silence back to headquarters as we had upon departure. The thick hush itched at my skin and I longed to get out of the confined space. I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulled toward the tall building.

He gave a word of thanks to Watari before slipping out of the car. I followed him into the building but was surprised when he turned around to face me. His expression showed a certain reluctance that was hard to place as his hand trailed into one of his baggy pockets to reveal a shiny skeleton key. Grabbing my wrist he first released my handcuff and then his own. I could only watch wide-eyed as he dropped the key back in his pocket and wrapped the chain around the cuffs that had linked us for so long.

"Ryuzaki... Wh-what are you doing?" I asked, sounding as confused as I felt.

"I am releasing you." he stated flatly.

"Yes, I can see that, what I mean is _why _are you releasing me?"

"It can't be helped, all the evidence that points to you is purely circumstantial. Plus, as it is, to remain chained to you would be immensely distracting and would hinder my thinking capacity by approximately 24.6 percent." he answered in a bemused tone.

"**Distracting?" **Ryuk scoffed in the background.

"How could I possibly be a distraction?" I asked jokingly, raising an eyebrow.

"I could think of several ways..." he replied, taking the slightest step forward.

"Oh? How so?" I questioned with a grin.

"Like right now," he said somewhat regretfully, resting a hand lightly on my neck, "do you see how you are distracting me now?" he breathed, leaning in so our faces were but an inch apart.

I would have replied but evidently he meant it as a rhetorical question because then his lips were on mine and all coherent speech was forfeit.

"**Whoa, whoa, **_**whoa!!" **_Ryuk shouted from every direction, and I'm pretty sure if I had looked up I would have seen him flying around the room sporadically.

I ignored his rant, focusing only on how dizzyingly happy I was that L was acting less detached.

"**Are you telling me L is **_**gay?! **_**For **_**you?!" **_the shinigami was then silent for a moment, then threw his head back and laughed with such vigor it felt strange that only I could hear it.

I pulled away from L with a smile, "I thought you were angry with me," I told him.

"Angry?" he questioned in a perplexed tone.

"When you hadn't really said anything for so long," I clarified.

He shrugged, turning to head toward the kitchen, "Please forgive me Light. But I had several things to contemplate and didn't feel it polite to engage in conversation with you when my mind was elsewhere."

I didn't follow him into the kitchen. Instead, I stared absently at my wrist. There was a light pink ring, but it would be gone within the hour, all traces of the chain's presence gone. I felt a strange pang in my chest as I thought upon it's absence.

"Would you like something to eat?" L called from the kitchen.

I brought myself out of my melancholy thoughts, "thanks but I'll pass," I replied, smiling despite myself.

"**Light, don't tell me you're going out with this guy or something..."** Ryuk floated in front of me.

My face twitched slightly, but I said nothing.

"**Heh heh heh. Guess that answers my question then huh? Ku ku ku!" **he cackled, flying away.

L returned, balancing a slice of rich-looking chocolate cake and a cup of steaming tea in one hand, and walked back toward the computers. Setting his treats down carefully, he flipped open the screen to his laptop, left on from earlier. I sat down beside him and proceeded to start up my own. Just as usual.

_Maybe... Things have shifted between us a bit, but nothings really changed..._

And deep down, maybe I never really wanted it to.

--Weeks Later--

--Ryuzaki's POV--

It was raining.

The forecast had looked grim all week, and the skies didn't show any sign of lightening.

I was foolish. I had thought, futilely, that if I tried hard enough, I might be allowed to bypass the laws of Justice and be allowed Light Yagami. Now with the skies of cracking lightning and whipping winds I heard my fate. I could _feel _my death looming over me, and in the back of my mind, I knew I deserved it. I **welcomed **it, longed for death to take me because the pain I felt was unbearable.

Guilt.

Guilt for falling in love with a criminal. Not any criminal, but one of the most notorious and self-seeking murderers Japan, no, the whole _world_, has ever known.

It was ironic that the price I would pay for loving Kira was to be killed by him. Yet I was certain Light would take my life, that was his goal in getting close to me after all. But I'd rather be killed by him than live with him rotting in a jail cell somewhere, so in the rain I found peace. Peace in knowing that this masquerade of ours would finally be coming to an end.

At that moment, Rem, the shinigami that had inexplicably appeared with the discovery of the Death Note, floated past my shoulder. I turned my gaze from the window to my untouched cake. It had only been a few days since the notebook had been found, but since then the task force had all adjusted very well to the presence of a thought-to-be mythical creature. Although she hasn't helped much (for some reason I can't get her to answer my questions) it is proof that the Death Note does somehow grant otherworldly power to its owner.

I sipped my tea contemplatively, taking a short break from discussing what to do with the notebook with the team. I took another long look outside at the pouring rain. My brow furrowed, "Mogi, please tell Light and the others that I will be gone for a short while."

"Sure," he replied with only a trace of questioning in his gaze.

I stood and headed up the stairs. Making a sharp turn I made my way to the elevator, then, scaling another flight of stairs I was at the entrance to the roof.

I opened the door slowly, letting my hand be cooled by the metal, and looked reflectively at the gray sky.

Today my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't work. I didn't want to be around anybody, didn't want to hear anything but the sound of the rain falling. Wanted nothing more in the world but to be at ease, to feel the rain soak through my clothes, cleansing my skin.

I stood toward the end of the building, gazing down at the city.

"Love... What a bittersweet and utterly pointless emotion," I shivered in the cold, thunder clapped somewhere nearby.

Thats when I heard the heavy metal door slam shut. I knew he would come looking for me eventually. Perhaps that was my desire from the beginning.

"Ryuzaki?" he called my name over the pounding rain, "what are you doing out here??" I could practically see the confusion written on his face, though I didn't turn to him. I listened closer and could hear his reluctant footsteps splashing puddles on the concrete, until he was just behind me.

"You're going to get sick, what are you doing?" he asked, half worried, half annoyed.

"Nothing in particular, its just the bells..." I said quietly.

"Bells?" he asked, sounding like he wasn't sure he heard me right.

"Yes. The bells are really loud today," out of the corner of my eye I saw him glance to the side, listening.

"Ryuzaki, I don't hear anything."

"Really?" I sounded genuinely confused, "The conditions are favorable today, so you can't help but hear them. Its a church. Maybe a wedding? Or-"

"What are you talking about Ryuzaki?!" he huffed, frustration tainting his concern. "Come on, lets go back inside," he coaxed, slightly puling at my sleeve.

I said nothing, just stood with my back to him. Then;

"Light, since you were born have you ever told anyone the truth, even once?" I finally turned around to face him. His face was one of perplexity, his auburn hair hung dripping, as did his clothes. His brow furrowed, giving the question more thought than any normal person would.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a moments pause, "of course I have. I mean, sure, everyone lies sometimes, but I've always tried to tell the truth until it is absolutely necessary to do otherwise," he stated as if it were a well-known fact.

I looked at him skeptically.

"Are you lying now?" I asked coolly.

He recoiled, "What are you talking about?!"

"Tell me this, Light Yagami," I said acidly, "why is it that you feel the need to lie to me? Why is it that whenever I look into your prepossessing eyes I see deception?" I felt my self-control slipping, I would only be able to keep my voice even for so long, and nothing could stop the words that were now flowing out of my mouth. "I'm your enemy, therefor you **must** lie to me, isn't that right? I'm your enemy because **you are Kira, **isn't that _right?_" I was shouting now, fists clenched tightly inside my pockets.

He looked at me in earnest.

"Yes," he whispered, "yes."

The weight that had just been dropped on my shoulders was crippling, and I found myself on my knees. But the pain in my legs was nothing compared to the growing wrench in the pit of my stomach. I heard a wet splatter as Light fell to his own knees in front of me, he was sobbing. His arms wrapped around me, clutching desperately to the loose-fitting shirt on my back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, L." he was moaning into my shoulder. My arms were limp stubs on either side of me, I could only listen as he continued to choke out words that no longer had any meaning.

"I love you," he breathed, "I am Kira, but I _love_ you," he repeated, pulling me tighter to his body anxiously.

I was ripping in two. My body **ached **to comfort him, to embrace him, but couldn't. _He's a criminal, he's a _murderer_._

And I was irrevocably in love with him.

"Light, I..." mumbling, not quite knowing what to say, I fumbled for words.

"If I knew it would be like this, I would have just gotten rid of it," he moaned more to himself than me.

"What?"

"I don't want this anymore, its not worth it. Being Kira, its not worth it," he was mumbling.

"Light, what are you saying?" finding my voice again I grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him at arms' length.

"The owner of the Death Note can relinquish ownership, I would return it to the shinigami... But it doesn't matter now," he said quietly.

"Are you saying you would... Give up the power to be Kira?"

He looked straight into my eyes, "Yes. I would do anything."

I collapsed into his arms. "You've won, Kira. I can't arrest you," I said in a sob, "I can't, not when... Not when you're like this, not when I love you so much."

"Would you be with me if I gave up the Death Note?"

There was no other answer, I squeezed my eyes shut, "yes."

He moved to stand, "wait," I breathed, "my name, my **real **name... I want you to know. It's-"

"Lawliet." he whispered in my ear.

My eyes widened and a cold shock washed over me, "how...?"

"Rem, before you could see her, was Misa's shinigami. That day, when I was breaking up with Misa, Rem called after me as we were leaving. As a last attempt to save Misa heartache she told me your true name in the hope that I would kill you and stay with Misa," his voice was quiet, regretful.

"Then why didn't you-"

"I would never!" pain racked his voice, "...how could I kill you?" he asked in a weak tone. "I would rather give away my power as Kira than have to kill you... Lawliet."

I held his face in my palms, pressing my forehead against his, "then be with me." I said simply.

A ray of sun shone through the clouds and I realized it had stopped raining. The sunshine was warm, and it turned his hair to burning embers.

He met my gaze and smiled. Bringing my lips to his, I knew his answer. I closed my eyes to the growing sunshine, hoping to stay this way forever.

Perhaps we would do just that.

END

--

That's it. I really, really enjoyed writing this (personally, this is my favorite chapter) and I hope you liked it. I'm a little sad that its over now though... I feel like I have no purpose. :( I have some ideas for a few more stories though... (heh heh...)

Final comments would be the best. I want to thank everyone who commented, and anyone who read the story and liked it enough to finish it. -tearing up- I'll see you all later then! -bows-


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